My Child Will Be Observant?
In a world of bechira chofshit (free will), a country based on the pursuit of happiness, and in a land virtually free of anti semitism, there are certainly no guarantees.
The good (and bad) news is: how our children turn out has a lot to do with how they perceive us and our religious commitment.
Less than a week before Rosh Hashanah, we need to take a good long look in the mirror, and decide if we as parents are doing all we can to inspire our children to remain in the fold.
What is our attitude towards mitzvoth aseh(positive commandments)? Does Shabbat in our homes have charisma- sounds, sights, tastes, and feeling that make it the most special day of the week? Is the davening on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur something we run to, or a burden that we have to discharge? Is Succot really enjoyable family time, or an annoyance that we have to eat yet another big meal outside in the Florida sun?
How about mitzvot lo taseh (restrictions)? Our lifestyle has a lot of boundaries - eating Kosher, keeping shabbos, wearing a kippah, etc. Discipline and limitations are what shmirat hamitzvot are all about. Do our children see us making sacrifices and not doing everything we want?
This generation of teenagers has grown up during our century's version of the Roaring Twenties. It seemed one could have it all- the beautiful house in our expensive close-to-the-shul neighborhood, sleek foreign cars, exotic vacations, costly summer programs, and our expensive private school education. It was an era of few sacrifices.
I ask myself all the time- what do my children see when they look at me and my religious commitment? Do they see excitement and discipline, or drudgery and "going through the motions"? Do they see selflessness and sacrifice, or do they see cutting corners and "picking and choosing"? Do they see us valuing and making time for Torah study?
Our children will "buy in" if they see us as sincere and consistent, honestly struggling to be the best Jews and human beings that we can be.
Taking a good, long look in the mirror is what the yamim noraim are all about. Let's try to see what our children see. If we don't like what we see, this is our time to change it.
Wishing you and our school a year of success at inspiring our children,
Ktiva vchatima tova and Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Perry Tirschwell