Boys Varsity To Wear Skirts

"We've tried everything else", said veteran Varsity member, Danny Krasna. In its never-ending efforts towards a winning season, the Boys Varsity has decided to adopt the Girls Varsity's secret weapon- skirts. Point guard Jon Struhl, whose Girls Basketball team member sister has given him a number of pointers, said "I never realized how high a level of manuverability skirts provide". "We are very concerned with this development", commented FHSAA Commisioner, John Smith. "When we heard that there were WYHS girls wearing skirts on the court, we thought it was odd, but we let it go", expressed the commissioner. "We know that Orthodox Judaism has some unusual practices, but boys wearing skirts on the court is just downright strange."

School To Be Cancelled Every Thursday

Students and Teachers Rejoice "Classes are getting in the way of the preparation of the High-lites", said full time Highlites editor and part time principal Rabbi Perry Tirschwell. Highlites author Mrs. Amy Horowitz (who gets no blame for this Purim edition), has welcomed the fact that the entire faculty will spend 3-4 hours each Thursday on the e-mail newsletter. In response to Rabbi Sugerman's complaint that the "highlites are all about Rabbi Spodek and his wacky programs", the popular rebbe will be writing a weekly column explaining all those BH inside jokes. .

Major Changes in Wake of Accidents

Boca Community Hospital, in a move to increase business, has announced that it will be opening an emergency room branch at WYHS. To make room for this satellite and to solve WYHS' tremendous overcrowding problem, Executive Director Shimmie Kaminetsky announced that the ninth grade will be moving permanently to David Belolo's house. The three classrooms vacated by the ninth grade will be taken over by the hospital. Insiders question if Shimmie's true motivation is the close proximity of the new Boca Pita Express restaurant to the Belolo's Village Del Mar neighborhood. "Shimmie has been angling for a dish named after him at BPX since he heard about the Grossman Burgers and Schochet Rocket Hotdogs", said unnamed sources.

The Greatest Week in the History of Our People

Stating "really, how wide was the Red Sea, I ask you", WYHS Program Director Rabbi Josh Spodek announced that he has been working for months on another WYHS first- the splitting of the Atlantic Ocean. After the seniors were unimpressed with his plans for a trip around the world, Rabbi Spodek came up with the idea of an irrefutable miracle. Due to requests from Michael Hande, a Fear Factor competition of eating liquid mud from the ocean floor will be included in the festivities.